Unneeded strength

You go through life encounter hardship and sadness. Some get emotional, some are indifferent, some could care less, while others put on a brave face. That’s me, I put on a brave face and say bring it on. I was always alone everywhere I went, so I never had that person to lean on. I always had my parents but never anyone my age I could really depend on. I was always the pillar that held everyone up, the shoulder to cry on, the ear for their problems, and their counselor when they needed advice. One person in my family I could identify as being that was my grandma (My father’s mother). Just a couple weeks ago she dies. During the time I was surprised that someone like her has died. I didn’t know her as well as I probably could of but I had lots of fond memories of her. I grew up believing that she would the one grandma that be around to see my family. But as it happens life had other plans.
My dad was broken my mother was in tears, the extended family letting out the worst in them because they felt pained. I could do nothing but feel nothing, I acted like I normally would keep myself from breaking and to strengthen others. On the day of the funeral, I still kept my face. I figured that there were enough tears being shed, I don’t need to add mine. I remembered during the time before service started the had had friends of the family give their condolences. I went through the motions as they said ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ but a couple of them took the time and asked me if I was ok. I told them all that I was fine, but three of them surprised me when they told me I wasn’t. I was confused when they said that but dismissed it til later. Then the songs played and everyone started singing, to be honest, I cared for neither. But somewhere along the line, I started having memory flashes of the time I had with her. The time we visited her house, the times we spent the holidays, the time I was a kid around her, even when we went out to eat. It all hit me with the emotions I felt at the time, and I started crying.
I haven’t cried about anything for years, the last time I probably cried was back in high school. It was then I realized that I was hurting more than I thought I was, and they recognized the pain I was. It goes to show that no matter how much strength you show, you will always have a time of weakness. It never a bad thing to let show to feel release.

Character Developement: Side characters or main character?

If you have read my fanfiction story Terran, then you will notice that it was intended to have two main romances, Asajj Ventress and Shaak Ti.  But as the story continues I find that my side character has become more of the fan favorite.  Celene, Elyn, even Jaina have all been requested to be romanced instead.  I first notice this when I first killed off the first side character, Celene. Boy everyone was hot that I did that, I got a lot of angry reviews and even more angry PMs because I did that.

So now I find myself at a Delima, I want to continue the romance I had intended, but I also wanted to explore the other romance option.  I’m just going to have to do them in a second Terran.  Yes, I am planning another one.  I have been planning one since chapter six but you know, I had to plan in proper


“Be not afraid of greatness.
Some are born great.
Some achieve greatness.
And others have greatness thrust upon them.” Shakespeare

More than anything we like the sense of achievement. But how often do we see it in ourselves and not realize it?

“Some are born great.”

These are the people you know will do great things since the day they were born…said every mother who has ever given birth. But how often is this true, I think the best person to describe this is none other than Jesus. The reason I said that is that he was born on the run, his parents had to hide because the king was out to kill all children under two in fear of him. He was born in the small town of Bethlehem. Not only did the shepherds, who were nearby came, to pay their respects, but three wise men from the eastern country came. The wise men said they were following a star that symbolized the birth of a new king, and when they found him they knelt as they presented gifts to him.

Jesus grew not only to have a legion of followers, he was the start of a religion we come to know as Christianity.

“Some achieve greatness.”

Ok, you know Woodrow Wilson right? He is only the 28th president of the United States, no big deal right. But did you know he had a learning disability called dyslexia? To keep you from having to look it up it is, “A general term for disorders that involve difficulty in learning to read or interpret words, letters, and other symbols, but that do not affect general intelligence.” He did not let this stop him as he became a professor at Princeton University, an author of a popularly acclaimed book on George Washington, the governor of New Jersey, and the 28th President of the United States.

One of his famous quotes was, “The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome. All that an obstacle does with brave men is, not to frighten them, but to challenge them.”

“And others have greatness thrust upon them.”

Samuel Adams, one of America’s founding fathers. A upper-class man going through school, his family was religious but he wanted to follow the path of politics. The influence of his religious uprising was felt in every decision that he took as a politician, he was known as a religious man and was later called “the last of the Puritans”. Because of his upbringing, he learned about state affairs, which drove him to resent the British rule. After his family was almost brought to ruin, he had to fight to keep what his family had left, deepening his resentment to the British. From here, he made aggressive attacks on british policies.

Little did he know the more he resisted the taller her stood above the rest. After a series of follow-up events, and a month after the battle of lexington and Concord, he participated in the continetal congress meeting. On the second meeting, the Congress members wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence, and Samuel Adams personally drafted the Articles of Confederation, securing him as one of the nation’s founding fathers.


So don’t be in a hurry to do something great, you may already be doing it.


“Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

We often wonder why we see others standing taller than the rest.   We see him gathering people around him who would otherwise not give each other the time of day.  At the end of the day he just being himself, there is no grand speech, no rallying cry, no common goal, but his very presence is what people come to follow.  But what makes them great is not because of the deeds they done, even though that’s part of popular belief; but it is in fact what their views are, and the tragedies that they had, have or having now that makes them who they are.  Their ability to endure and move forward is what draws others to do the same.  Next time you have a chance to, meet someone you adore as a hero, or someone you regard highly of, ask them their story.  Ask them what they been through that made them who they are.

Quote 2

“I could give you over forty thousand reasons why I know that sun isn’t real. I know it because the emitter’s Rayleigh Effect is disproportionate to its suggested size. I know it because its stellar cycle is more symmetrical than that of an actual star. But for all that, I’ll never actually know if it looks real. If it feels real.
Before this is over, promise me you’ll figure out which one of us is the machine.”

Cortana to Master Cheif,  Halo 4

How many time do we find ourself acting like a machine?  We speak, move, and react in a certain way all the time that it feels normal.  But how much of it is normal, and how much of it is going by a preset.  I want to believe that we are capable of feeling what is around us instead of just seeing it as another scenery.  But what if that isn’t the case, what if you are anti-social, broken, or careless about what’s around you.  Is it because, of what has happened to you in the past, maybe you have no hope in the future.

I personally am anti-social.  Not because i dont like to talk to others or interact with them, but because of all the pain I had to endure.  I was bullied, betrayed, and heartbroken too many time in the twenty-one year I have been alive.  But I had hope that it would get better, so I put on a smile and looked forward to the next day.  But the more it happen the more it felt like I was on autopilot.  Now, I am twenty one and I let all my feelings spill out, it hurts everytime I put on a fake smile.  Everytime I tried to get close to someone I keep my heart closed and lock, so when I get rejected I don’t feel anything.

How many times do you have to lose something before you finnaly break and shutdown.  How many times did you have to endure and put on a fake smile for the sake of everyone around you.  After a while you would reach your breaking point, just like Master Chief in Halo 4.  After you lost that one thing that held you together for so long, you become broken.  Often times when that happen, you are left alone to suffer because you were always a symbol of strenght to others; When in reality, it was you who need support.

Something to think about.

See you next time.


“After time adrift among open stars, through tides of light and shoals of dust, I will return to where I began.”  Tali’Zorah vas Normandy

Quote 1

You know when you have those days where you think about something that would make a good quote for others, well I had one. So I’m not only going to post this quote but several others that I think we could use. My original quote, as far as I know it, hasn’t been quoted, but if it has then you can still use it.

So a child asked his father. “Dad, I can’t seem to find what I’m looking for, can you help me?” “Really? have you really tried looking?” He asked. “I have but all I have found are too small to be of use.” The child explained. “But son, you have what you need already.” “I don’t understand.” The son says as he looks at his father full of question. “Let ask you this, do you know what a puzzle is.” He asked his son. “Yes, it involves several small pieces connecting together to create a large picture.” The son answered. “Well what you want is like a puzzle, it requires several pieces to be completed. The grander the object you want, the more pieces are required; and just like a puzzle, you need to connect what’s familiar to complete the whole.” The father explained. “So even these small pieces can help me?” “Yes.” “Thank you, dad, I will look harder.”

Don’t be upset that you didn’t get all that you wanted. Just look at what you do have, for it will show you hints of the what the whole looks like. Because it will often be more amazing than what you originally wanted.

First Story: Terran

For years I have been an avid reader of fanfiction.  I would spend my hours, whether day or night, reading stories because they were too adicting to put down.  It was so easy to get lost in the stories that I tended to lose track of time.  So one day I thought I would start a story just to see how  I would do.  But the problem was, what to write about.  Fanfiction is what I would call a multi-story based site, because all of the stories are based on games, anime, movies, and comics.  You name it, it got it.  So first I had to pick a story that I know backwards and frowards.  I narrowed it down…to a couple dozen.  The next thing would be to write something I would really love to write about.  The story line that came to mind was my all time favorite- Mass Effect.  I wanted to do so many different scenarios, and  make certain events happen that was impossible in the game.

But then I was faced with another problem, how good were my writing skills?  A story requires a plot, goals, a protagonist and an antagonist.  Maybe add some romance, a plot twist, gore or horror, and a good cliffhanger.  There are hundreds of ways I could write the story.  Also another problem was if I did try to do an add on,  would I excute it properly?  Will I make it too detailed or not detailed enough?  There were many problems that I couldn’t account for so I came up with an idea of doing a test run.

I needed an open plot story where there are enough holes to make a free thinking writing, but closed enough to where I can follow a guideline if I needed to.  I thought why not Star Wars.  Most know about the Star Wars movies and if you are a kid or have kids then you probably have seen the animated version as well.  Star wars has a lot of open holes, the movies basically follow the Skywalker family while the series talked about the Clone Wars.  So i could do a fanfiction on them, but then I took it a step further and decide to make the story a self insert.

I decided to put it to paper to show what I would do…in theory.  Now mind you I was doing this to find out where my writing skills were, so I was going to pull out as many stops as I could while sticking to the story.  Which would include but not be limited too, action, adventure, romance, erotica, suspense, and gore.

It has been almost a year now, and so far I have learned two things.  One is that I could probably write a book and make some money off of it.  Barring that I fix my grammar .  In addition, you never kill off a favorite character, everyone goes ballistic about that.

That’s it then, how the creation of Terran took place….like it’s an actual book.   Anyway, if you ever have the urge to read my stories just look me up on fanfiction.


~After time adrift among open stars, through tides of light and shoals of dust, I will return to where I began.”  Tali’Zorah vas Normandy-Mass Effect 2


The Unexpected Find
Hey, my name Devin Smith. I am your average Twenty-year-old, in college, have a good job, the usual. Love games and movies, and usually do more than my share of both. But seriously let’s admit it, life gets boring after a while, just going day by day. So I thought I might go off and take a long walk, not really paying attention to where I was going. Then I thought, hey let’s go into some random forest, just because I feel like doing something stupid. It started to get late and so I started to head back, but I caught a glimmer out the corner of my eye. I went over to where it was, and it looks to be a ship sitting nearby a small lake, I dare say it look like a Jedi ship from Star Wars. It was all covered in mud and worn looking, but otherwise, in working order, I am wondering why it was abandoned. I climbed up to the cockpit to find a skeleton of what I assumed to be the pilot.
I thought it wasn’t right for me to leave the poor guy like this so I pulled the pile of bones out, and started to dig a hole. Let me tell you digging a hole to bury a long dead guy in the middle of a forest is no fun at all, especially when it was getting dark out. After I finally dug the hole I put the pilot in and covered it up, using stones to mark the grave. After it’s all said and done I am now left with a ship that probably doesn’t fly. In any case, I didn’t have the proper equipment with me to clean it. So, I went home for the day. Luckily it was the start of my three-day vacation. I got all my things together, I got my camping bags ready, my brand-new survival gear, complete with a hunting knife, bow and arrows, and a generous supply of food for three days because I love to eat. I even brought my sword so I can continue to practice it, so when I do use it in a fight I won’t chop my own leg off. After everything was packed and ready I put them in my car and headed back inside to take a quick nap.
Afterward, I grabbed my food and made my way back to the ship. Granted it took a little longer to get there considering I had to remember where I entered the night before. Eventually, I found my entry point and quickly found the ship, this time I had my cleaning supplies so I could properly clean the ship. Lucky for me the dirt slid off with little to no resistance. Got to hand it to the engineer who built this. After it was all clean it showed a deep forest green color with a subtle white stripe alongside its wings. “What a beauty,” I said out loud. I climbed in to see if still operational, and when I pressed a small button a vid screen came up displaying a mission log.

Mission lo…twenty. I have… fully made a hyper … ace jump……. now I…………see how far……can go without breaking down. May the force………
The logs not but it looks like this ship was a prototype of some sort. I listen to a more recent one.

…I’m hit……ustain critical damage…nav computer …. offline…. they…. not find…. I must do a blind jump… can hide…. Terra.
“Terra? That can’t be, can it?” The mere implications of it were both exciting and frightening. “Why here though?” I started to check around the ship to see if I could find any other clues. Interestingly enough I found a cargo space behind the seat, so I decided to try to put all my stuff in there to see how much it could hold, and what do you know, it all fit. I replaced the seat and tried another button. I believe I found the power button because everything started to light up like a Christmas tree. Next thing I know the ship started to power up and take off. “Uh Oh, not good!” the hatch closed me inside and took off into space on Autopilot. In what seemed like only minutes later I am passed by what looked like Saturn. I then started to notice that the ship was powering up for something, and I didn’t have to wait long to find out why as the ship went into hyperspace. I was thrown to the back of my seat unable to move. After about thirty minutes I was able judgment. I got a good look at the hyperspace effect, it was really a wondrous site, and I was enjoying the experience of it all, considering I still had no control.
Suddenly, I dropped out of hyperspace, which dramatically tossed me forward. Though I didn’t hit my head, it was hurting badly. It looked like I was heading towards some type of planet, so I looked for a navigation computer and tried to make out where I was heading. The computer displayed symbols only, but for some reason or another I could read it, it said I was headed towards Togoria. I was flying by a huge ship, then suddenly, I heard loud noises. I guess this ship does have a communication system, but the language was alien and I didn’t understand it. Then I realized that the planet was getting closer, fast. I tried to get the ship to turn or at the very least slowdown. I was able to level it out but crashing would be inevitable. I tried looking around and off to my right I saw a huge city. I angled the ship just enough to put me in the direction of the city but I was not able to level off quickly enough before I crashed, hard. I blacked out.
I woke up, my whole body was heavy and sore but I’m alive. Then I thought; alive in an alien ship, with alien tech, that flew me to an alien planet with slow down alien jungle plants, with a chance of running to alien species that may want to kill me. Sounds too much like Predators, let’s just hope the ending is better for me. I grabbed my stuff from behind the seat and started to toss them out the ship, except for the more delicate equipment. Now that I got a good look at my ship, it held up pretty well, but without repairs, it won’t be flying again, and I have no idea how to fix an alien spacecraft. I sat down on a rock nearby and grabbed an apple from my food bag, and begin to take inventory of what I got. I have plenty of food that if rationed out properly, it could last me about two weeks. I also had a fire starter kit, which will no doubt be useful. I had a Bow with about forty arrows and a knife. All things considered, it could be worse, I got supplies, a means to survive, and a destination. Before I start making my trek through the jungle I thought it best to eat all the food that would spoil quickly. As I was started to grab some food, I heard a twig crack. I quickly grabbed my bow and an arrow and aimed at the direction it came from. “Perfect, just perfect. I hope it the locals that are watching me and not some predator.” I packed up everything, attached my sword to my belt. I have my food and survivor gear over one shoulder and my quivers over the other shoulder. With my bow and an arrow ready I make my trek through the forest in the direction of the city.
~thirty minutes ago~
Clyde POV
Hey, the name is Clyde. I the military advisor to my village leader, Terun. He had received word that a Jedi Ship has come out of hyperspace and was moving towards the planet. There was no response from the ship. It didn’t take long for us to see the ship coming in, looks like it was heading toward Caross. It didn’t take long before we heard it crash. I was given the order to take a team and investigate the intruder and report anything I find. I took five men with and we got to our Mosgoth looking for the crash vessel. We found and landed a good distance away from the vessel. I told everyone to spread out and encircle the ship, me and two others took to the trees while the three remaining spread out on the ground, hiding behind bushes and trees, and not a moment too soon the cockpit opened up. We see a human coming out. He starts tossing his bags out, and we got a good look at his weapon. After looking at it, it looks easy enough to deal with, but one of my guys on the ground clumsily step on a twig. The Human smoothly and quickly aims an arrow in the direction of my guy. I had to signal my man to hold position to keep them from giving away our position. Eventually, he lowered his guard and continued to eat. He eventually packed up and begin making his trek into the forest, at the rate he’s going arrive at the city in four days. After he left the area I contacted my leader, Cullen, about what I found and wanted our next orders. We are to follow him for today after he has rested, we will attack and see what he is made of.


Alright, so I decided to make a blog about fanfiction writing.  I will be writing a preview of stories I am currently working on to see how this goes.  My mother is the one who inspired me; both to write and start a blog about it so here I am.  I hope you enjoy what I have to offer.